10 Tips for Easing Anxiety 
with a Pregnancy After A Loss

DALLAS, (March 17, 2000) - One out of every four pregnancies ends in a loss. And although no official statistics are kept on miscarriages, it is believed that pregnancy loss is on the rise as more and more women put off childbearing until later in life when the medical risks are higher. The increase also may be due to the growing number of women seeking fertility treatment, which often puts them in the position of experiencing multiple losses before achieving a healthy pregnancy.  

 In the past, women were encouraged to forget about their pregnancy loss and simply conceive again. Over the past 20 years, there has been a growing realization that the loss of a baby during or shortly after pregnancy is like the loss of any loved one. An area that continues to be overlooked is the pregnancy after a loss. There still is a misconception that once a woman is pregnant again, everything is fine. But as anyone who has been through it knows, that is simply not the case.

Carol Cirulli Lanham, author of the new book  Pregnancy after a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy after a Miscarriage, Stillbirth or Infant Death (Berkley Books, 377 pages, $14.95), offers these 10 tips for easing anxiety in a subsequent pregnancy.

1.  Attend a Support Group - More and more organizations across the nation are starting support groups for women who are expecting again after a loss. Click here to find a support group near you. )

2.  Find Success Stories - Other women who have made it through a subsequent pregnancy can be a great source of encouragement to you. They are living proof that it is possible to give birth to a healthy baby after the devastation of a loss. Ask your support group leader or health care provider for a referral.

3.  Request Frequent Prenatal Visits - There is nothing more reassuring than hearing the fetal heartbeat or seeing the baby's image during an ultrasound.  Even if you are not considered medically high-risk, ask your health care provider for more frequent prenatal appointments for peace of mind.

4.  Be Proactive - The more knowledgeable you are about the medical aspects of your pregnancy, the better able you will be to discuss treatment options and outcomes with your health care provider. Stay on top of the latest research, and don't hesitate to ask questions or seek a second opinion.

5.  Worry Only about Actual Problems - All of us tend to dwell on the "what ifs." While you may not be able to eliminate worries altogether, you will be much happier if you resolve only to worry about actual problems, not what may potentially happen in the future.

6.  Involve Your Partner - Need someone to lean on during prenatal visits? Having trouble making medical decisions on your own? Get your partner involved in your pregnancy. Research has shown that pregnant women with supportive partners have fewer problems overall.

7.  Treasure Every Moment  - Whenever you feel anxious about the future, take time to stop and remember that at this moment, the baby is alive and well. Appreciating your blessings instead of always dwelling on your fears will do wonders for your peace of mind

8.  Monitor the Baby's Movements - If you are far enough along to feel kicks and jabs, set time aside each morning and night to monitor the baby's activities. This will have a double benefit. Not only will you be reassured that the baby is well, you also will be alerted to any unusual slowdowns that could signal potential problems.

9.  Try Not to Compare - Doctors agree that no two pregnancies are exactly alike. So as difficult as it may be, try not to dwell on any similarities between this pregnancy and the one that ended in a loss. Some complications do tend to recur, but since your health care provider now knows about these potential problems, treatment can be more effective.

10 -    Stay Focused on Your Goal - You may feel like you've been pregnant forever, but it helps to remember that before long the pregnancy will be a distant memory. If you didn't believe a good outcome was possible, you would not have made the decision to try again. Be grateful for the life growing inside of you and the hope that you will soon be giving birth to a healthy baby.